Negativity.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately too...and I have a friend, and former co-worker, who posted this today. I really could not have said it better myself. In fact, I have been trying to figure out how to put it into words for a couple of weeks now...

Hope everyone out in bloggerland is having a great month thus far. And I'll post something mind boggling soon.... ;P

Original post:

posted by Shannon at 8:11 PM on Jun 8, 2010

If there is one single thing I've learned through this recently process of changes in my work situation it's that I can't take the negativity anymore. I thought - really, truly thought - that things would have blown over by now or at least have started to. But I would be oh so wrong. It sometimes seems like I can just feel the hostility radiating off some people. And you know, I'm all for feeling whatever you are feeling whenever you are feeling it because it's good to acknowledge your feelings. BUT...at some point, you have to get over it. You. Just. DO.

And personally, I'm happy to have a job. One that I actually enjoy. It's never going to make me rich, but I feel like I'm doing a good job. So when I get all this negativity radiating at me it's annoying. Today someone just pushed every last button I had and I managed not to fly off the handle, but I did stew about it the rest of the day. I'm over it now, but sheesh. Lighten up folks!! If you choose to be miserable, then you will be. But if you at least attempt to make the best of things, you might be surprised that it turns out better than you ever imagined.

Just a tiny rant from the peanut gallery

I understand that God has me where I am for a reason...and, as I have told many people, I actually DO enjoy being single...

But, here's the thing: It is a very hard thing to keep in my head that this is what God has for me right now when (it seems) everyone around me has someone. And the people who have someone are married, married and having kids, engaged and planning a wedding, or just have someone to date and hang out with.

While I am happy for these people and glad that God has blessed them, it is very hard not to be a little jealous.

I put on a tough face and act like I'm 100% cool with it 100% of the time, but it is just that....a face.

It seems like this feeling flares up everyone once in a while...today was because one of my co-workers is planning her wedding. While I am very very excited for her, it just comes as a constant reminder that I do not have anyone. And, again, while I know that this is not a bad thing and God has intended for me to be single right now for a purpose, it is still kind of difficult.

It is also due to something else that happened today. There was a ladies conference today going on in Cola, so a bunch of us from work went...one of the speakers mentioned something about the days of going to college for a "MRS" degree. I guess that is always kind of what I had planned for my life. Go to college, get married, have kids. Again, while that is what happens for some people and is all well and good, that is not what God had planned for me.

I guess sometimes it's hard to just accept that what God has for us is different (and better) than what we had planned for ourselves. Even though we do not always see the BETTER part.

The other day I took a couple of my youth girls (who are seniors in high school) to visit a college. On the way back, one of the girls said to me, "Alicia, sometimes I wish I just knew which college God wanted me to go to." My reply was, "Well, He already knows which one you are going to pick, even if you don't. If He always just told us what He wanted, we wouldn't ever grow to trust Him and seek Him."

I guess as I am writing I realize that I was saying that to myself. Plus, if we always knew just what God had in store for us, life would be pretty dull and uninteresting.

He just keeps bringing up several passages of scripture that I have blogged about the past month or so...maybe one day I will actually get them...

Philippians 4:4-13
Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. I rejoice greatly in the lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Acts 17:26-27
From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each of us.

Hindarance

Defined by Dictionary.com as:
1. an impeding, stopping, preventing, or the like.
2. the state of being hindered.
3. a person or thing that hinders.

Ever believe something so much that you always thought it was what God had for you and not really realized it was your plan the WHOLE time? And been so convinced it was what God had in store for you??
For example, you thought you were only going to be in one place for a period of time and, therefore, did not bother to try to see what God had in store for you?

"From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each of us."
Acts 17:26-27

By my [unqualified] interpretation: Where we are is the best chance we have to seek him. And know him.

Growing up, I never stayed in one place for very long by nature of my Dad's job in the military. And I always swore that I would never do that to my children (when I had some).
I then decided it was a great thing: experiencing different cultures, meeting new people, just an overall wonderful experience I had.
In my mind I had already put off anything that would cause me to make permanent ties to Sumter (not like friendships, but, well I'll just say it, dating) (*side-note: there are not currently any prospects, I am just blogging).

I think that my desire to leave Sumter was clouding my vision so much that I have not been living to my full potential. I was taking the desires that God gave me (like starting a coffee shop) and saying that they could not happen right now because I was not going to stay in Sumter my whole life.
Because I knew starting a business would keep me here. I was putting limits on my God and, essentially, locking Him up in a convenient little box...all without REALLY realizing it.

I always here people complain "There's nothing to do in Sumter"...and that is true to an extent, just like it is true in about any other town of its size. And regardless of that being a true statement, or not, it shouldn't be hindering me from enjoying it while I'm here and living up to what God has in store for me here.

The hindrance was my own doing. And I have let it consume my outlook so much that I think I am missing out. (On what, I may not fully realize.)


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."
Proverbs 19:21


Lord, remind me over and over you are in control. Even when I want the control, and in my ignorant, human mind think I can handle anything without you.

Some of my favs.

A friend of mine (Kendra) did a favorites blog a while back, and I thought it was a fun idea and wanted to copy it =)

1. Hanging out in coffee shops

2. Wearing skirts/dresses and rain boots

3. Old Navy PJ pants

4. Sleeping in

5. A good cup of hot tea

6. Long Summer dresses

7. Acoustic music

8. Walking in the rain

Debating.

Should I bite the bullet and be a greeter at church even though I'm not as outgoing as everyone thinks I am?

Should I volunteer to work in the nursery even though I really don't want to?

Would this be considered one of those "fake it 'til you make it" kind of things?

Or would this be considered phariseeish?

Is there a happy medium, or am I allowing the devil to create doubt about this matter?

I don't want to feel like I was guilted into doing either of these and feel resentment.

If I join the greeting team, I would be able to get to know more people's names.

I guess that would be a good thing.

But, again, I don't want to feel like I was pressured into doing it and not liking the people that asked me.

Gah...I don't know. I guess I could try the greeting thing and see what happens.

The same can't really be said about the nursery.

Kids are great and all, but once I get on the rotation, it'll be harder and harder to stop helping out.

I guess I really just need to figure out what my intentions are.

I've been reading a lot lately about being intentional.

One of my new favorite blogs are the ones from Relevant Magazine.

One in particular titled "Being Single with Intentionality".

It's more than just the intentionality of being single, but just the intentionality of, well, being.

Living life to the fullest.

I'm also reading Francis Chan's "Crazy Love" book.

A particular section of on of the chapters really caught may attention:

"You could be the next person in your family to die. I could be the next person at my church to die. We have to realize it. We have to believe it enough that it changes how we live. A friend of mine has a particularly wise perspective on this subject. He was asked if he weren't spending too much of his time serving and giving too much away. His gentle but honest response was, "I wonder if you'll say that after we're dead." Friends, we need to stop living selfish lives, forgetful of our God. Our lives here are short, often unexpectedly so, and we can all stand to be reminded of it from time to time. ... in the movie of life, nothing matters except our King and God. Don't let yourself forget. Soak it in and keep remembering that it is true. He is everything."

At a memorial service for Robbie Martin on Saturday afternoon, I was again reminded of this.

Robbie was an amazing man of God.

I first met Robbie when I was in college at a Thursday Night BCM service.

He loved.

He always asked to pray with and for you.

He wanted everyone to know about the amazing God he served.

He was a very dear person to many people, myself included.

We laughed and cried when we heard all the "Robbie stories".

He lived. Man, did he live.

This reminded of part of a sermon that I heard at least 4 or 5 years ago:

"Live. And Live Well.

BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply.

Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now.

On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun.

If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE.

Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.

If you bike, pedal HARD...and if you crash, then crash well.

Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done--a paper well-written, a project throughly completed, a play well-performed.

If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old's nose, don't be disgusted if the Kleenex didn't catch it all...because soon he'll be wiping his own.

If you've recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well.

At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you're eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven.

And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life.

Because-it-is-most-definitely-a-Gift."

All that to say that I want to start being more intentional.

And living life to the fullest.

And helping out where I can

And always seeing God's love and grace in every situation.

Debate over, decision made.

Dang it, what am I getting myself into.

The rest of the story...

Ok, so I posted a blog yesterday or day before about how God was dealing with me using Philippians 4:4-13, here's the rest of the story that I couldn't post then....

_____________

Sometimes I feel like God is leaving me out (kind of like when you get left out of playing a game when you're elementary school). It sucks.

Over the past weekend I had a friend get engaged, went to a good friend from college's bridal shower and found out a couple I've known since high school (that has been married for about 5 years) are having a baby. Don't get my wrong, I am SUPER happy for them and I don't want to sound like a bitter 'ole woman, even though I'm only 24, but it really sucks sometimes.

I know that God's plan is perfect, and that it'll all happen in His timing. I know that right now it is obviously God's best for me to be single and to draw closer to Him. But it still sucks a little.

I love my friends and I love the fact that God is blessing their lives with these things...it just sucks sometimes that it's not happened to me yet.

Philippians 4:4-13

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. I rejoice greatly in the lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

2 Corinthians 12:9

"he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"

______________

Dear God,

Thanks again for the Gibb's slap. I know I needed it.

Love, A

Gibb's Slapped.

Every feel like God is smacking you and saying (insert sarcastic, matter-of-fact voice) "HELLLLOO?!?!?" I always picture it as Gibb's slapping DiNozzo or McGee on NCIS....

Well, God's been dealing with me a lot lately about some stuff (that I can't really talk/blog about right now...but give it a couple days or weeks....)

Typically I have heard the below verses independent from one another (i.e. 6&7 together, 13 by itself, etc.), but I do not think I have ever heard it all together...[and by heard I do not mean Webster's definition of the word] I'm sure I have heard it all together before, but I don't think that I have ever really listened to it. You can hear something said over and over and over and over again, but not really understand the importance. The same way you can read the same thing over and over again and realize something new every time.

God's really be using this scripture to remind me that his plan is perfect and that what He has for me right now is His best for me.

Philippians 4

[4] "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!

[5] Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

[6] Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

[7] And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

[8] Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

[9] Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

[10] I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it.

[11] I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

[12] I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

[13] I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Goals.

I've decided that I do much better with short-term goals. I'm not sure if it's because they seem more attainable, but I guess it doesn't matter that I can't figure out why it's easier for me.

So...goals to be completed by the end of March:

1. Finish reading the books I've started this month (The Choice by Nicholas Sparks, Crazy Love by Francis Chan w/ Danae Yankoski, )

2. Get my guitar fixed and learn a song

3. Exercise at least once a day (or every other day)

4. Get rid of clothes I don't wear

5. Eat more fruits and veggies

That's all the goals for now kids.

Good night.

Monday Excursion

As you may have gathered from my previous post, I decided to go on an excursion last Monday afternoon since I did not have to work (a lovely perk of having a state job, I must admit).

I decided to go a place, very often explored yes, but somewhere I have not been a while. Swan Lake. A place very known to the locals, and known widely by visitors as the only public place in the U.S. with all eight species of swans.

Only a few swans made it into my selection of pictures below because I try to focus more on the scenery. So below you will find a small selection of pictures from the time I spent walking around. My shoes got a little muddy after I underestimated the amount of rain that soaked into the ground, but it washed right off when I got home.

I hope you enjoy (especially you Kendra).

Until next time....

exploring.

i've decided that on my day off tomorrow that i will explore.
it has been far too long since i walked around, just me and my camera (wendy), and just took pictures. i must admit that i am very excited about this little excursion.
even though i will be going places that i have been before (no star trek reference intended), hopefully i'll come back with pictures that i haven't taken before.

Christmas, New Year's.

Okay. I haven't posted yet this year...it's actually been over a month.

So here's a little about the past month:
Finished the work year busy as ever, but that's to be expected.
Spent my 2 weeks of Christmas vaca with my family.
Took a family road trip (complete with a Queen song and dad playing air drums) to IL for our first Christmas with Grandparents, cousins, etc. since 1993.
Played "Apples to Apples" with the Baker family. My family is hilarious.
Scratched off a $1 lottery ticket from my Grandma Mary. I didn't win anything.
Played DDR with my cousin Jack on Christmas morning. He's a 13-year-old teenage boy and he beat me.
Had a white Christmas!
Threw a snowball at my Grandpa Bill. (He provoked me, and he was inside anyway)
Walked around the Air Force Museum for the second time.
Baked & decorated Aunt Carmen cookies with Mom and Aunt Alaina.
Enjoyed the warmth of the fire while it snowed outside.
Had minimal flight drama to and from Ohio.
Learned how much I really really miss not being around family.


I'll post pictures in a couple days hopefully.

To all you people out there in blogland. Hope you had a safe and joyous Christmas and here's to a wonderful and prosperous New Year!