It is simply amazing what one blind date can teach you about
yourself.
First, a little back-story.
Let me start by saying that because December is, well,
December it is an extremely busy month. Between the semester finishing up at
work and making sure professors turn grades in, to the holiday parties, to the
travel plans....absolutely crazy.
The second week of December I was randomly over at a
friend’s house for dinner when she told me about this guy that her friend knew
and asked if she could pass along my number. He was a coworker of her friend’s
and they both thought it could be a potential match (side bar: she actually
started referring to it as “Operation Christmas love” which I find pretty
hilarious). I figured, “why not” and I agreed.
The next night we texted for about 3 hours.
The night after that we talked on the phone for about an
hour and a half.
We had good conversation and I enjoyed chatting with and
getting to know him. At the end of the second phone call (on a Wednesday night)
he asked if I’d like to go out on the upcoming Saturday. I accepted.
He picked me up at 5:30PM (yes, he was on time) and we had
dinner and then drove around to look at Christmas lights. He dropped me off at
home around 10PM and we ended the date with a hug.
We texted for a few days after the date, but in the end I
think we came up with the same conclusion: not a match.
This was totally fine. He was a nice guy, just not for me.
While I did enjoy getting to know him, after mulling over
the date for a little over two weeks I’ve realized several things that I need
in my future husband...my future partner:
1. First and foremost, he must be a believer in Christ. It’s
very important to me that my future husband has the same faith as me. I am not
interested in dating and attaching myself to someone who does not have that in
common with me.
2. He needs to make decisions and take control. Biblically
speaking, the man is the head of the household. While I’m not saying that
during the dating relationship that the guy should call all of the shots 100%
of the time, but I do think that he should actually plan the first couple
dates, especially the first date, and not come in blind...that’s not the reason
they call it a blind date. Also, if a girl asks you to pick a place to
eat....pick a place.
3. He must be a gentleman. I think that the statement “chivalry
is dead” is hogwash. Guys, don’t just open one door for a girl the entire time
you’re out, open them all if it is possible...make an effort to get around to
her side of the car when you arrive at a destination to open her door for her.
I don’t think guys realize that girls like this as much as they do...I don’t
think I realized how much I like it.
4. Several years ago I had a conversation with a co-worker,
and fellow believer, about physical appearance. I once thought that I must be
shallow if I needed a guy to be physically attractive to me in order for
anything further to happen. She said to me, “Alicia, if you don’t like to look
at him now, you won’t like to look at him in 25-30 years.” This guy wasn’t hard
on the eyes, but he was about 2 inches shorter than me. I am only about
5’4’’/5’5’’, but I need my guy to be at least at eye level with me...that’s
just how I feel and I’m good with that.
I will say that I learned a lot more than just those things,
but in the time of thinking about it over the past month, those are probably
the top 4. I never realized that I could learn just about as much about myself
as I could about someone else on a date.
I am very thankful for this experience and now have a better
idea of what I want, and need, in a future husband.
I also realize that for the time being I enjoy being single.
And at this point in my life, I am okay with that.
Until next time, people.
Much love,
AMC
